Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i've created a new STD.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
