What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
