I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
