Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
