so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
