I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
