Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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