i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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