I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
