6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
