i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm at about main and main street
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
