Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
