It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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