You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
