Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
did i just pee glitter
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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