I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
