If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
