dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
