My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
