this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
