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I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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