also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
