Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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