So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
