I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
