There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
