I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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