I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
