I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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