I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
