Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
