put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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