i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
