i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
