Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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