I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
