I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
