she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
