Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
