i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
