What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
