can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
