We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
