Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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