look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
