Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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