I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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