How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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