Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
