stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
