MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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